Society teaches us not to show our weaknesses, so we learn to stay quiet. It takes great courage to reach out and ask for help. It can also save us.
While walking down the halls of school to my classes, I would constantly hear people saying rude things about me, like I was a ‘cutter’ or that I dressed weird.
For years and years, this beat down on my self-confidence. Even when I was with a group of friends, I felt horrible. I spent a lot of classes crying silently or running out of the room. I felt best when I was at my house, without all the drama. Then, one day I had to stay home from school I felt so happy that day. I didn’t have anyone or anything to deal with. I wanted everyday to be like this, but I couldn’t think of a way to stop going to school, except for killing myself, so I overdosed on drugs.
The college transition is tough for a lot of people, moving away from home, meeting new people, taking harder classes. I had a tougher time than most.
At only 19, I have been through a lot in my life and have dealt with so many issues. Even though I’m not perfect now, I have found ways to help me deal and have overcome everything that I have been through. When I was younger, I was never really accepted by anyone, school, family, anything. I just have always felt as though I didn’t belong.
To add to the sense of not belonging, my parents split up. For about a year after that, my cousin was sexually abusing/raping me. I never felt connected enough to my parents or family to tell anyone, fearing that they wouldn’t believe me. Therefore, I kept all of this pain inside making me feel as though I was messed up, dealing with depression, anger, bitterness and hurt. I was always looking for happiness and a way out of the dark hole I was in. I started hurting myself because I just felt a sadness that would never go away. I was never liked by anyone, so I tried changing my physical appearance, by becoming prettier and “acceptable.”
Protective Factor Framework:
Protective factors are attitudes, beliefs, behaviors and circumstances that build resilience. There are four main domains where protective factors can be identified and connected to kids. The presence of protective factors decreases the likelihood of potentially harmful behaviors such as substance abuse, school failure, teen pregnancy, violence and suicide. With resilience, individuals can flourish even under adverse circumstances.
People who have survived suicide give many reasons for why they are still alive today. Among those reasons there runs a common thread: they realized that their life had a purpose and that they had a place in the big picture.
If you are feeling uncertain about how you fit in, consider some of these questions:
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What do I want to do with my life?
Discover the connection between purpose and meaning
My reason for being.
My reason for getting up in the morning.
Purpose tells us who we are, where we came from and where we’re going. We shape our lives around our sense of purpose. It gives us energy and direction. What, or who, you want to be can provide clues to your purpose. What is that unique something inside of you that you wish to develop and pursue? You might want to ask yourself: What are my talents and interests? What moves me? What do I dream about? Who are the people I most admire? What would my ideal life/school/city/country/world look like?